Here's something you may not know about me: I really enjoy playing tabletop role-playing games. (Oh, don't act so surprised about it. You've all known how strange I am for a long time. :) ) I suppose I should say that I really enjoy running tabletop role-playing games—since that's what I've mostly been doing in the hobby for the past couple years—but I still consider the narrator/storyteller/gamemaster to be playing the game, so it's pretty much the same thing. But as I've been looking at my RPG hobby habits, I've noticed a very disturbing trend, one that I've also seen reflected into my other hobbies and even my non-recreational endeavors.
I have a hard time staying with things.
In running terms, you could say I'm more of a sprinter than a marathoner. Give me a short-term goal, and I can generally muster the willpower to see myself across the finish line. But when short-term becomes long-term, I run into problems. Generally, I just talk myself out of the long-term goal ("I don't really need to finish writing this story."), or I get bored with the process and make some radical change ("I just don't like how this character in this game is working. Better delete this 40-hour save and start over."), or I get sidetracked by something else that seems just as (or more) important than my current goal ("There's a really good sale on these books, so I'll just put off saving for my computer upgrades.") Luckily, I found a college degree program that kept my interest long enough that I was able to graduate, but even then, I switched majors a couple of times.
How does this apply to my hobbies? Well, over the past few months, I've been struggling with what I like to call "RPG schizophrenia": I bounce from rule system to rule system, finding "irredeemable" flaws strewn throughout each one in turn. One system is too complicated and takes too much math. Another doesn't have the level of detail I want built into it. Another system's materials are too expensive. And round and round it goes. I find the same thing in my video gaming. My backlog is getting huge because I'll start playing a game and then get distracted by some new sale or an older game that sounds better than the one I'm currently playing.
How does this apply to my life in general? I've begun to realize that I'm just spinning my wheels in several areas where I would like to be moving forward instead. My writing has dropped to almost nil, and since I'm not writing, I'm not going to be able to pull together the 20-page sample my graduate school application requires. I'm spending so much time chasing my tail in my hobbies that my family and friends don't get the level of attention they deserve. And speaking of hobbies, I'm going in circles so much there that I've started not even enjoying what I do for fun.
So, I've decided to make some mid-year resolutions (since I didn't really make any at the New Year):
1) Choose an RPG ruleset and keep it. Since this is the issue that started me thinking on this topic, I'll go ahead and put it first. I have three separate generic rulesets that I am familiar with, and one fantasy-themed system that I've played a little with. Rather than waffling back and forth among these choices, I'm going to stick with just one. Savage Worlds, if you care to know. It offers a flexible and easy to understand character design system, backed up by streamlined and interesting rules. Plus, the books are cheap. :)
2) Spend more time interacting with my family. There seem to be too many days when I come home from the office grouchy and sapped. I just want to get some food in my stomach and shut my brain off for the rest of the evening. Unfortunately for my family, I'm not very good in resisting that impulse. No more. "Dad Locke" doesn't shut down until the kids are in bed. No, that won't leave a lot of time for my hobbies, but let's face it: My family is more important than my hobbies, anyway.
3) Finish the games I have before buying new ones. Okay, this one might be hard for me. But I blame Steam and their ridiculous sales. Oh, who am I kidding? It's my own low willpower that keeps me from clearing out my backlog, and Steam's just the enabler here. If you checked my Backloggery link above, you'll see that I'm not in as deep as I could be, but there are enough titles on that list that I'm embarrassed of it. Besides, committing to not buying more until my backlog is cleared will let me set aside the money I would be throwing at games I'm not playing in favor of upgrading my aging computer. And thus, I declare war on my backlog. (More on this in upcoming posts.)
4) Write every day and keep this blog current. This one is pretty self-explanatory. I think I've written maybe 400 words of fiction in the past four months, and they weren't a particularly good 400 words, either. I remember spending just 30 minutes a day working on a fantasy novel during one of my undergraduate writing classes. It wasn't that hard; it's just a matter of sitting down and getting it done. Also, I want to make sure I keep posting on my blog here, because I've found that keeping at something is much easier than rescuing it from stagnation.
5) Read at least one new book each month. Yet another hobby goal, but I've found I'm more creative in my writing when I'm actively reading another author's work. And even with all the demands on my time (many of them self-inflicted), I can afford to spend some time reading. It's better for my brain than watching TV, anyway.
Yes, some of these goals are ones I've failed to complete before, but if at first you don't succeed, right?
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